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Banana Republic Of Pakistan: A Depository Of Nincompoops – Part 1

Pakistan, is a country of 6,00,000 uniformed personnel, with a handful of deal brokers, aka politicians. Pakistan is ruled by the biggest political party in Pakistan, called the Pakistan Army, which has been ruling Pakistan since its inception. The biggest achievements of Pakistan are that it is the only Islamic nuclear power with stolen technology and that it won the 1992 Cricket World Cup. These two achievements alone are enough to qualify Pakistan for the 8th Wonder of the World. But there are some hidden gems in Pakistan that must be exposed to the world. In this article, we have brought forth to you some gems of Pakistan, which are sought by scientists worldwide to know more about the basis of their existence.

Also Read, The Rafale Group: Ushering towards Multi-polarity.

NATIONAL GEMS OF PAKISTAN

IMRAN “U-TURN” KHAN

Imran khan

Imran Khan is a druggie, millionaire, and playboy from Pakistan. He is known by many names, like Taliban Khan and U-Turn Khan. On social media worldwide, he is known as a professional beggar and former cricketer. Imran Khan gained his titles due to his remarkable deeds. The reason he is called U-turn Khan is because of his tendency to flip on his words after every hour. This quality of Imran was even witnessed by his Muslim brother leaders (lenders) in Saudi Arabia and Turkey. He backstabbed Saudi Arabia by forming a clique with Turkey and Malaysia to challenge Saudi Arabia in the OIC. All three leaders—Imran, Erdogan, and Mahathir of Malaysia—planned to announce their defiance in their separate group meetings. At the last moment, when everything was set, Imran backstabbed Turkey and Malaysia over a phone call from big daddy, Saudi Arabia, leaving them high and dry.

Imran Khan praising Taliban takeover of Kabul.

The reason behind his moniker, Taliban Khan, is because of his unwavering support for the Taliban fight against Pakistan. Imran Khan had time and again proved that he was the only Talibani spokesperson capable of negotiating with the Pakistani establishment. It was Imran Khan who settled TTP terrorists and their families within Pakistan and also allowed them to keep their sophisticated weaponry. These same TTP terrorists have today declared jihad against Pakistan. Moreover, it was only Imran who advocated opening TTP offices in Pakistan. Furthermore, it was Imran Khan who praised the fall of Kabul on August 15, 2021, as the Taliban broke the shackles of slavery. Another quality of Imran is that he is a man of love and passion, and in this, he doesn’t discriminate between men, women, or others. This revelation was made by his ex-wife, Reham Khan, in her book.

Imran Khan has a habit of biting the hand that feeds him. He tried to bite Saudi Arabia’s hand by colluding with its rival Turkey in the OIC, despite getting aid to run his government. He also bit the hand of his master, Gen. Bajwa, who was responsible for making him the PM of Pakistan. It was the blessing of Gen. Bajwa that turned Imran from an insignificant politician to the PM. It was the army’s boot that made all electables drift away from their parties and join Imran Khan. Despite everything, Imran paid him back with abuses and public humiliations on social media and at public rallies. Unfortunately, Imran forgot Rule 1 of Pakistan, which is that the Army Chief is God. Therefore, for blasphemy, Imran was retributed with the fall of his government and jail. Alas! Now how will he get his daily dose of substance in jail? Although, Having spent the past nine months in prison due to what he claimed are “fake and concocted cases,” Imran Khan affirmed his readiness to continue serving time if necessary. “I will remain in jail if I have to for nine more years, or more, but I will never strike a deal with those who have enslaved my nation”, Khan said in a statement.

SHAH MAHMOOD QURESHI: PEER TURNED POLITICIAN

Shah mehmood qureshi
FORMER PAKISTAN FOREIGN MINISTER SHAH MAHMOOD QURESHI.

Shah Mehmood Qureshi is a part-time politician and full-time peer. He is yet another electable, aka political puppet, of the Pakistan Army who joined Imran on the orders of the army. He primarily comes from Multan and has twice served as foreign minister: from 2008 to 2011 in the Bhutto government and from 2018 to 2022 in Imran’s government. Qureshi, like every other unchaste electable, has served in every party of Pakistan, depending on the needs at the time. Apart from politics, he is also a peer in his constituency. His side hustle as a peer fetches him a few bucks by blessing people on occasion. His disastrous tenure as a foreign minister witnessed the revocation of Kashmir’s special status and a spike in mortality. Apart from this, he was also responsible for straining ties with the Saudis and Imran’s cypher controversy.

PEER SHAH MAHMOOD QURESHI ON HIS SIDE HUSTLE.

It was Qureshi himself whose loud mouth irked Saudis and strained Pakistan’s ties with its big daddy. To appease domestic voters, he carried out a fake bravado by issuing a threat to the Saudi government to act against India on the Kashmir issue. This alone displays his gross incompetence and brainlessness as a foreign minister. The reaction from the Saudis was so severe that the Army had to step in and clean up his mess. Furthermore, his concerned interview was also broadcast in Pakistan. Another one of his magnum opuses was the cypher controversy, which landed his PM Imran in jail. It was during his tenure as foreign minister that he let a casual diplomatic conversation between US and Pakistani officials slip into the public eye. Qureshi too played a role in this bogus stunt, which ultimately landed Imran and him in jail on charges of flouting diplomatic etiquette.

FAWAD CHAUDHARY A.K.A DABBU JI

FAWAD
CHAUDHARY FAWAD HUSSAIN.

Yet another gem of Pakistan is renowned scientist, astronomer, part-time politician, and full-time comedian Fawad Chaudhary. He, like every other electable, had served in all political parties in Pakistan and last served as the Federal Minister of Broadcasting under PM Imran. He is known for his pathetic track record as a minister and an online troll. Fawad came to light after a hilarious Twitter DM exchange between him and an Indian account. In this exchange, the Indian account duped him on the pretext of selling him ISR technology. This incident made him a butt of jokes for India and a major embarrassment for Pakistan. He was trolled by Pakistani handles after the successful Chandrayaan 3 mission. People reminded him about his crass comments on the previous Chandrayaan 2 mission and held him accountable for the poor state of the Pakistani space programme under his ministry.

PAKISTAN MINISTER FAWAD CHAUDHARY PRANKED.

Pakistan science minister trolled for his bizarre comments on the irrelevance of space programs.

In his jealous spree of undermining Indian space programmes, Fawad, in an interview, questioned the utility of space programs when we can use Google to know the location of planets. This came from a federal minister who oversaw the Science and Technology Department of Pakistan. Such a pity. No wonder Pakistan, despite being the first country in the subcontinent to start a space programme, lagged so behind. This wasn’t the only time when he became a cause of global humiliation for Pakistan. He has a list of these marvels. One such incident was the post-Pulwama attack in Jammu and Kashmir. He, as a federal minister, admitted and boasted about Pakistan’s role in the attack on the floor of the parliament. Later, after stern reactions from India and FATF on Pakistan’s neck, he took a U-turn on his words like his leader Imran Khan.

SPECIAL MENTION – PAKISTAN BUREAUCRACY

The bureaucracy is considered to be the iron frame of a nation that provides structure to its policies. Unfortunately, Pakistan’s bureaucracy is a rusted iron frame that only provides incompetence, corruption, and humiliation to the nation. They say institutions are a reflection of society; no wonder Pakistan’s institutions are in such a sorry state of affairs. To elucidate this precarious state of the Pakistani bureaucracy, I would mention a few instances that further this assertion. The first instance alone is enough to paint the entire picture of how and who controls the bureaucracy. Like everything, it too is a rubber stamp of the Pakistan Army. This was further reiterated when Pakistan’s president claimed that its bureaucrats had forged his signature and passed a bill without his consent. A mere clerk in the presidential office bypassed the exclusive right of a president and made a law for 220 million people.

Pakistan President Arif Alvi denied having signed the bills blaming his officials for having passed the bill without his consent.

This was done on the orders of the omnipotent Pakistan’s establishment. The story behind the bill was that it was critical to Imran Khan as it would give additional power to the authorities under the Official Secret Act to prosecute Imran. President Arif Alvi, being a member of Imran’s party, resisted signing these bills. Therefore, the army, in collusion with the bureaucracy, bypassed the president’s assent and passed the bill. In any rational nation, this would be considered a gross violation of constitutional structure, and such a law would be deemed void. But in Pakistan, it is business as usual. Apart from this, there have been several instances when Pakistani bureaucrats have been caught stealing the wallets of foreign diplomats. All these instances point out that the rot in the Pakistani bureaucracy is intrinsic and omnipresent.

CONCLUSION

The aforementioned instances are just the tip of the iceberg of why Pakistan is renowned as a banana republic. Unfortunately, the list is too long to cover in just one piece. Nonetheless, for this part alone, the reader would get a good grasp of the situation. If required, we would come up with another part of this series with some more gems from Pakistan. There might be a scarcity of food, water, and foreign reserves, but there is no shortage of nincompoops in Pakistan. That’s the only commodity other than terrorism in which Pakistan excels on the global stage by astonishing margins. Till then, enjoy this piece and have a happy reading.

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Anmol Kaushik

Hi, I'm Anmol Kaushik, I'm currently pursuing Law (4th year) at Vivekananda Institute of Professional Studies (GGSIPU). I'm a defence enthusiast and a keen geopolitical observer.

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